Badoozie

Most of the time when people decide to get a new dog, they call it normal names such as, Rocky, Blacky, Rover, Rex, etc, but when I got my dog I called it Sex. What a mistake that was! Calling my dog Sex has got me in so much trouble in the past, here’s why;

I was going on holiday once and I wanted to take the dog with me on the plane so I called up the airliner because I have never took a dog on the plane before, when the airliner answered, I said to them, “Can I have sex on the plane or do I need special papers”, the girl replied, “This is not that sort of airliner, join the mile high club”.

I took the dog into the city once and on my way through an old women stopped me and said, “what a lovely dog you have” I replied, “Yeah I love sex, I’ve had it for a while”, the old lady slapped me and called me a pervert.

I was waiting for my kid outside of school once and I brought the dog with me, the dog escaped into the school and a guy and his son was walking out, I said to the guy and his son, “I am looking for sex”, the guy punched me.

One day I wanted to go to church but I didn’t have anybody to mind my dog, so I took it to the church with me. When I got to church I said to the pastor, “Is it ok to have sex in here, she will be quiet”, the pastor replied, “It doesn’t matter if she’s quiet or not, church is not a place for sex”.

I was walking the dog once in central park and it just happened to escaped, I spent an hour looking for sex and couldn’t find sex anywhere. I thought I heard a noise next to the tree’s so I went over and had a look, next minute a cop came out of nowhere and asked me what I was doing, I replied “I am looking for sex”, next minute I’m being handcuffed and took away in the cop car.

I left sex at the dog kennels once while I had to go out of town on business. After I got back from my business trip I went to pick sex up from the kennels, when I got there I said to the owner, “I’ve come for sex please”, and the owner replied, “I don’t think you want to have sex with any of the bitches in here”, “NO NO, I don’t want sex, I have come for my dog sex” I replied. Next minute I am getting chased off the property by the owner who just happens to be a 6ft6 redneck gun-holding yellow-bellied motherfucker.

–

I would love to be able to say I thought of this concept myself but I originally got the idea from an article I found in an old bag of mine which dates back to about 1997. All of the content on this page is my own work apart from the “idea”.

If anybody knows who originally came up with the idea of a dog called “sex” please let me know via the comments section below so I can add their name to the page.