At some point in your life you’re probably going to end up with living with a complete and utter jerk who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves. You being the kind-hearted caring individual you are, you’re probably going to want to ask them to leave, but just don’t know how to. Well, listen up! If you follow the instructions below, you might just be able to make that unwanted room-mate leave without asking.
1: The Noisy Ass Room-mate: Be as noisy as possible, play loud music till stupid hours of the morning, slam doors, invite loud friends over and disturb your room-mates peace at every possible moment. If your room-mate is anything like me, they will hate you enough to possibly want to kill you or move out quicker than a cheetah on speed.
2: DeComfortize: When you’re at home, you like to feel comfortable, right? Well, why not take that away from them? You could say things to them like, “Hey, I am having a swinger party later in my bedroom, I was just wondering if you would like to join in” or, “If someone starts beating the door down, just tell them I am not giving them the money I owe them”. Another tactic you could use which may make them feel uncomfortable is; declare yourself a naturist and hang around naked whilst their friends are over.
3: The messy mofo: Nobody likes a room-mate which makes a complete and utter mess and decides not to tidy up. Use that to your advantage and start being messy as much as possible. Leave food out everywhere, crumbs on the sideboard, jam in the butter, dirty dishes, towels and clothes everywhere, and start not flushing the chain after you have used the toilet because that will annoy your room-mate something chronic.
4: Skitzo, Psycho, Whatever!: Nobody likes living with a schizophrenic or a psycho. Why not make your room-mate think there is something wrong with you? Start acting strange and make comments like, “What do you think would be the best blade to cut yourself?” Your room-mate will be out of your apartment quicker you could possibly imagine.
5: Animal Fanatic: Not everybody loves animals as much as I, or maybe you. If your room-mate doesn’t like animals, why not get one of them as a pet? If your room-mate doesn’t like animals as much as they say they don’t, they are most likely going to move out as quick as possible.
6: Ridiculously annoying: Nobody likes an annoying room-mate. Start asking questions and questions to everything your room-mate says, talk about yourself constantly and always bring up things about having sex with your room-mates mother or something along those lines.
Ok, so I hope you liked the article above, if you can think of any other ways to get rid of room-mates, please submit them via the comments section below.
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