Badoozie

At some point in time you’re going to wish you had a beer instead of a woman, and here’s the reasons why:

1: Beer doesn’t mind if you share it
2: You can enjoy a beer all day, every day
3: It’s OK to have a beer anytime of the month
4: A beer is always satisfying
5: You can take as many beers as you want home
6: Beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another
7: You can have a beer whenever you want
8: Beer can’t get pregnant
9: You can always trust your beer
10: It’s easy to get rid of beer you don’t want

11: You can’t catch STD’s from your own beer
12: Beer gets lighter the longer you hold it
13: Beer doesn’t grow hair in places it shouldn’t
14: It’s ok to go home with a different beer
15: Beer always looks good no matter the packaging
16: It’s ok to go to sleep when you’ve had a beer
17: Beer doesn’t complain how cold it is
18: Your last beer won’t fight with your new beer
19: You don’t have to talk to your beer
20: You know how much a beer costs when you get it

21: Beer doesn’t have interfering parents
22: A beer won’t mind if you lock it up
23: A beer doesn’t need to wash before it tastes good
24: You can’t get arrested for burying a beer
25: A beer isn’t embarrassing when you take it out
26: A beer doesn’t expect you to marry it
27: It’s OK to have a beer on the bus
28: A beer won’t file a divorce suit against you
29: When you have a beer you know what you’re getting
30: A beer wont cheat on you with another man

31: Beer doesn’t take hours for it to be ready
32: A beer doesn’t care how much you earn
33: A beer doesn’t care where you take it
34: A beer won’t call you when you’ve had enough
35: Beer doesn’t need an answer for everything
36: It’s not illegal to sell your beer to a friend
37: You don’t need to drive a beer to its friends house
38: A beer won’t tell you to change the channel
39: A beer is always wet
40: A beer always hits the spot

41: You can give unwanted beer away without hassle
42: Beer doesn’t complain when it goes flat
43: If the beer is poured correctly, you get good head
44: A beer won’t say to you, “does my ass look big in this”
45: You can sleep with as many beers as you want
46: Beer doesn’t expect you to buy it presents
47: Beer doesn’t bleed on a regular occurrence
48: You can do what you want with a beer
49: A beer won’t mind you going out with your friends
50: It’s OK to leave a beer outside in the cold

If you’re a woman and this article was offensive, please click here to send me hate mail.